Did-did that title seem passive aggressive? I don’t know, now that I’m reading it out loud it kinda does…but like I already used “happy birthday” or what not, so like I thought it would be a funny quirky way to say this time around? Whatever, I digress, with ZERO bitterness or resentment intended in aforementioned titles, it’s my wonderful wife’s birthday!!!
She’s the big 33!! That’s it, she made it to adulthood by hobbit standards! No more and irresponsible tween for you babe, it’s time to get it together and get your big girl pants on! (Side note: I love that Tolkien knew that no 20-30 year old was REALLY an adult but just basically giant teenagers. 33, 33 is when a person should have some sort of idea what adulting is. Everything leading up to that is just shenanigans).
I struggled with this post, not gonna lie. What can I say that I haven’t said before? My wife is amazing, she works stupidly hard, she’s the glue that holds us together, she’s an amazing mother, and I literally can’t function without her. Like…I’m super serious, I’d be a hot mess without her constant and unyielding supervision.
So I had the brilliant idea of y’all not hearing what I think, but what our children think of her! I’ve randomly been asking them what they think of their momma the last year and writing them down…or at least the ones that were meaningful…or hilarious.
So without further ado my beloved, here’s what the kids have to say about you:
Princess: Momma is super smart, like SUPER smart. She’s in charge of the other smart people she works with so that makes her really smart.
Rex: Momma is nice. She gives good hugs.
Princess: Momma makes the best muffins. I like them more than Costco muffins.
Rex: She smells like bananas!
Princess: I like all of her clothes! Momma likes to dress up like a fancy lady!
Rex: Momma is a banana!
Princess: she throws the best parties! I want to plan parties when I grow up.
Rex: Daddy can I have pizza? (Me: dude you’re supposed to tell me something you like about momma!) oh-momma gives me pizza.
Princess: Momma always has the best ideas! Like this one time we went to look at puppies and she decided to get one, or the time we got Luna!
Rex: how do you spell momma?
Princess: I love it when momma runs around the house in her underwear!
Rex: (me: ok say something you love about momma like she’s cooler than Spider-Man or something)…wait, daddy, is Spider-Man real?!?!
Princess: I love how momma makes us yummy treats.
Rex: but daddy is Spider-Man real?!
Princess: Momma tells the BEST jokes! Like about farts or spooky dookies!
Rex: Daddy if Spider-Man is real where does he live?!
Princess: momma makes our birthday parties like a fancy ball!
Rex: momma buys the best costumes
Princess: momma always helps me with my bad dreams
Rex: I love mommas stinky feet!
Princess: I love how momma exercises every morning so she’s got big muscles!
Rex: I love it when momma calls me a banana!
Princess: I love you momma, happy birthday!
Rex: I love you momma, happy birthday!
As you can see, our son deviated from the point a few times there…but whatever it’s the thought that counts. Babe, I can’t say anything that I haven’t a thousand times over, but it doesn’t make it any less true. I think you’re amazing, your children think you’re amazing, the cat and dog think you’re amazing, pretty sure Minnie Mouse thinks you’re amazing, your sister thinks you’re…fine…but mostly amazing so that must mean you’re amazing!
Happy birthday love, here’s to year being the best! (Knock on wood)
Until next time,
Stay classy, stay safe, and, above all else,
Stay grumpy
The Grumpy Nerd Dad 