The Sleep Dilemma

What the actual heck is wrong with toddlers?

Do they not get it?

Sleep is a wonderful precious thing that only comes on rare occasions as you get older! I have tried explaining to my daughter on many occasions that I would murder for my parents to come feed me a snack and make me go take a nap. MURDER!!! So why is it like pulling teeth to get her to sleep? Truth time, this started off as a survival guide post about how to deal with bedtime, but it quickly became apparent that I am still lacking sufficient knowledge in this field in order to give advice. I am lacking in MANY things in this field it seems as Princess is currently winning bed time!

Now thankfully we don’t have this problem with Rex yet as there is something that I like to refer to as the “sleeping curve.” Y’see, through tons of deep and tireless research, I have compressed my findings into a simple chart shown below.

As you can see by this professional looking chart, there is a direct correlation between the age of your tyke versus how much BS they are going to give you. Rex is still one, so he’s basically an angel at naps and night night time. Just stick him in his crib, give him his blanky, turn on the noise machine and BOOM! Down faster than a clown with frown.

Princess, however, is a totally different beast. Kicking, screaming, crying, bargaining, the freaking bargaining! What do I look like, a bazaar trader?! Why does she think she can haggle me for more play time?’ A better question is how the heck does she SUCCEED at haggling me for more playtime?!

Some day she will understand. Some day she will reach adulthood like the rest of us and yearn for the days when sleep was so freely offered us. Words of wisdom for all ye toddlers refusing to take the blissful dreamscape: you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone!

Anyways, I know this post is a bit short today, buuuut I thought I’d go for a TLDR kind of post today. Plus I may or may not be a bit sleep deprived after a long night of toddler bargaining, so my creative juices are at a trickle. But I appreciate the time y’all take to read my stuff no matter how long or short. So let me know any sleep tips y’all might have for your wee ones and I’ll be sure to share my own…eventually….when I have some. At any rate, until next time my grumps! Stay classy, stay safe, and, above all else,

Stay grumpy.