Chapter 4: Treat Yo’Self
Ah, here we are again! I’m so glad that you could all join me once more on our quest to survive parenthood. Our journey has been pretty harrowing thus far! We’ve delved into giving ourselves hypothetical pats on the back, ventured into the territory known as the picky eater, and…er…huh I guess that’s it. Our journey has kinda sucked. But hey! That’s because we’ve only just begun the adventure! We’ve many dangers to face, tears to cry, laughs to chortle, fears to conquer! (But serious emphasis on the crying and fear part).
But real quick, a quick thank you to all of y’all for the love you’ve sent my way. I’m currently sitting at 15 followers! THATS DOUBLE DIGITS YOU GUYS! That’s practically one more than fourteen and a whole TEN more than five! I really hope that I’m not coming off as facetious or anything, mostly because I’m not actually 100% sure what facetious means. I get genuinely giddy whenever I get a view/like/follow. I like to do the happy dance with my kids…except I’m big and clumsy…kinda like a bear in a tutu…a bear-erina?
Yeah, that’s it, that’s me right there.
So I sincerely mean it when I say thank you. You guys make my day. I guess you could say that I can BEARLY contain myself 😃 Sorry, couldn’t help it. One might also say it was UNBEARABLE 😃😃. Okay okay I’ll stop…wouldn’t want to be BARBEARIC after all :😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
That’s the kind of humor you can expect around here: Only the highest quality of entertainment for my loyal readers. The Grumpy Nerd Dad, keeping humor alive since about three weeks ago. Anyways, I’ve punned my way around the main topic for too long. You’ve come to me for my unwavering wisdom, and I shall impart upon you a small nugget of insight.
So this parenting thing can be harrowing. It’s often go-go-go the instant you wake up till the instant you sleep. Ya gotta be on top of EVERYTHING in order to keep your little monsters thriving(and I say that with the utmost love and affection). They need to be fed, clothed, wiped, bathed, dropped off at school, fed again, napped, entertained, fed YET AGAIN! HOW CAN SUCH A LITTLE BEING NEED SO MUCH FREAKING FOOD?! You get the point. And that’s not to mention the stress! The freaking stress that goes into a normal day is insane! Typically, your days will fall between two different categories. Either:
Or…
(Pro tip: your spouse is much less likely to find you if you hide under your bed)
It gets overwhelming sometimes! Have you ever tried to walk two dogs, push two kids in a stroller, read a story about a naughty pug while simultaneously stopping your perfect little angels from whacking each other in the face? I feel like I’m basically prequalified to be a hostage negotiator. There’s a lot that goes into the daily life of a stay-at-home parent, and it’s easy to lose track of “us time.” No, I don’t mean “us” as in you and I (though my D&D party is currently looking for a rogue if anyone is interested. Someone’s gotta pick those locks yo) I’m talking about personal time.
The Grumpy Nerd Dad Tip #3: Make Time For Yourself
So this one is a bit of a touchy one for some parents. I hear it all the time whenever parents get together and talk (not that I’m dropping eaves on complete strangers or anything. I got a life, I don’t need to be creeping on other peoples conversations…Don’t look at me like that). There typically comes a point where one person asks the parent if they saw a certain movie or if they’ve tried a new restaurant or something like that. Cue the classic line, “when do I have time to do that?” I myself am very guilty of this. Between cleaning, feeding, and laundry (ESPECIALLY LAUNDRY) there is approximately .076 minutes in a day for down time.
Seemingly.
Look guys, it may seem impossible to take some you time, but make it a higher priority. Being burnt out is one of the worst feelings ever. You’re already stressed, you got so much on your plate, and chances are, you’re going to feel it by Monday afternoon as it is. I remember my first few months of stay-at-home-dadding was quite a struggle (I know, I wasn’t always gifted! Hard to believe, right?). I was scrubbing, folding, vacuuming, entertaining, and basically busying myself crazy. I didn’t dare take a break lest I break the ever foreboding Golden Rule! Plus I had this issue where I would put myself down whenever I wanted a break. Start to say things like “my wife will be so upset if I don’t have her clothes washed,” or “if I don’t do these dishes, then my kids won’t have their special plates by dinner and they’ll be upset with me” and “WHAT WILL MY FAMILY THINK OF ME IF I DON’T GET THESE DECORATIVE DOILIES FOLDED UP JUST RIGHT?!” Y’know, normal human stuff.
So we work ourselves to the bone till it’s all done. I mean, kids ain’t going to understand if you need a moment to yourself. Want a treat? Well, unless you’re a ninja who can hide on ceilings, you better believe that your little ones will smell your yum yum from across the house and converge in your location like a pack of rabid badgers. Want to go to the bathroom for a moment? Well kids have this psychic link with us where they are perfectly okay doing their own thing until you shut a bathroom door. As soon as you place yourself on that toilet seat, you are suddenly the most interesting freaking person on the planet and they MUST have you physically in front of them at all cost! Want to just lay down and stare at the ceiling for just a pitiful moment to catch your breath? Two words: parent trampoline. So when it seems like we can never have a break, we just grin and BEAR it 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃(ha! Snuck that one in when your defenses were down!).
Well, after a couple months of pressure and exhaustion, I learned a very valuable lesson: STRESS SUCKS! Trust me when I say that we are not pleasant people when we are stressed. We get grouchy, angry, tired, and overwhelmed. I wasn’t as fun for my kids when I felt like I was ready to pop, and it was soon apparent that I couldn’t keep this up for the next forever. So, parents (or basically anyone reading this who has too much stress in their lives), we need to take some time for ourselves. I know I just went on a long spiel about never having enough time in the day, but we need to make time. Even if it’s just for a few minutes, find something that truly sounds pleasant to you and do it.
It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate or out of the way! Something like dancing around the house to your favorite song, reading a quick chapter in a book, opening up a window and just enjoying the outdoor smell for a heartbeat, anything that sounds pleasant to you is worth the few minutes it takes.
Heck, my go to whenever the kids went down for a nap was to play a video game; something I hadn’t done since before I had kids. I’d set the timer for twenty minutes, put on an audiobook, and roam the countryside of Skyrim slaying dragons.
(Extra pro-tip: audiobooks are amazing! You don’t have to physically sit down and do nothing to read them! If you’re super pressed on time and need to get something done, putting on some headphones and listening to an audiobook while you do dishes or fold laundry almost makes it an enjoyable task! Try it!)
But see, that’s the tricky part! You can’t be sucked into it!
Once the timer goes off, it’s back to what you need to be doing. Don’t get pulled into the dangerous trap of relaxation where it becomes laziness. There were a few times where I got a tad bit too into my conquesting and decided to ignore the alarm. I mean, what’s just ten more minutes, right?
Well next thing you know, the kids are up from their nap, you failed to finish what you needed to do before that, and, the worst of all, YOU BROKE THE GOLDEN RULE!
The great unforgivable sin!
TEN MORE MINUTES IS NEVER ACTUALLY TEN MORE MINUTES!
So please, take the time to spoil yourself for as long as you need to throughout the day. However, don’t get lost in it. We owe it to ourselves to have a bit of selfishness from time to time and to do something just for the sake of us. You deserve appreciation and the person who can show you the most appreciation is yourself. You deserve you time. Juuuuuust don’t forget to snap out of it.
Remember: escape is good, but returns are better for us in the long run (even if they are harder to do).
Oh, and in case y’all are wondering what my escape is now: it’s this. You guys are my current me time. So thank you everyone for making my day that much more fun!
So what do you all like to do on your down time? Let me know how you unwind down below and we can maybe exchange notes. Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts and I’ll see you guys later. So stay classy, stay safe, and, above all else,
Stay grumpy.
(facetious: not meant to be taken seriously or literally. Ah, see I knew what that meant! And you guys doubted me…)
The Grumpy Nerd Dad 