I Do Believe Introductions Are In Order

Well, here we are.

To anyone fortunate or unfortunate enough (I do not discriminate) to find themselves here on my first blog post, I welcome you. You’ve stumbled upon the insane, irrational, and somewhat hilarious ramblings of a stay at home parent. God be with you. Whether it be the search for a kindred soul, the unyielding curiosity of finding a new blogger, or sheer boredom that brought you here, I thank you for taking the time to read my words. As for this blog and what I hope to accomplish with it, I can without a doubt say that my mission statement is thus: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I haven’t the slightest idea what I’m doing! But y’know what? Who REALLY knows what the heck they’re doing, I mean am I right? Anyone? Just me? Well then…I guess you get to see me wing it as I go along!

So you’re probably wondering: “just who are you ya big grumpy nerdy dad you, and what is it you want?!” To which I say, “…wow why’d you go with big? Rude much!” But to answer your first question: I am The Grumpy Nerd Dad! The one and only! Not an impersonator, not a clone, and not an evil twin (I know you’re out there!). I will indulge your curiosity on what a grumpy nerd dad might look like with the help of a self portrait. I have to inform you before I show you: this is NOT a real life photo of me. I know that it might be confusing due to my amazing art skills, but this is indeed just a hand drawing of myself. Is that clear? You ready for this? Okay, brace yourselves everyone!

Shockingly good, isn’t it? Believe it or not, I have not been professionally trained! I’m just gifted I suppose…

At any rate, this is me. Note the less than thrilled expression smack in front of that balding head as he waves hello to you! Yes ladies, I am indeed wearing socks and sandals your eyes are not deceiving you. Calm yourselves, I am a married man!

Now that you have a face to the legend, let me tell you a bit about myself and what I’m doing here in this blog…site…thingy. First and foremost, let’s break down the alias that I have chosen. I will start off with the most important aspect of my name: The. According to the dictionary, the definition of the word the is as follows: “denoting one or more people or things already mentioned or assumed to be common knowledge.” Phew, glad we cleared that doozy up. Now moving on to “Grumpy.” Why am I a grump? Because there’s not enough caffeine/naps/chicken wings in my daily life, that’s why! Now moving onto “Nerd,” what exactly qualifies me as thus? Well, between my extensive knowledge of Magic the Gathering, odd and totally not useful-in-your-daily-life sci-fi and fantasy movie knowledge, and the fact that I slept with a battle ax under my bed for the first year of marriage for “in case of emergencies,” I think I am well qualified as a nerd (and if you still don’t believe me, my level five dwarf cleric will fight you!). And lastly, “Dad.” Easily enough, I am Dad because of my wonderful family.

As stated in the intro paragraph of this hot mess of a first post, I am a stay at home dad so that my wife can go to work (oh Grumpy Nerd Dad, you’re so progressive and forward thinking! We love you!). It’s a hard job and I do think that I had more hair on my head than when I started, but it has been the most rewarding experience of my life. In fact, that’s how this entire blog thing got started. I’ve been trying to start a journal of my memories of fatherhood for my children. People always say that you should journal so that your children can know more about you and themselves when they were young, and well, that’s true. I feel bad about the things that my babies used to do that made me laugh and smile and yet I’ve forgotten about them because I didn’t start this sooner. So there we have it, why I’m here! Worst case scenario, this blog will be a gateway into my thoughts and memories for my family to read in the future. Best case scenario, one of you will read my scribbles and get a chuckle out of it (because, let’s face it, I’m freaking hilarious). I hope to share with you my experiences and joys along this journey of mine as well as share some hints and tips I’ve picked up. I’ll try to post something once a week at least, and if people seem to like it, perhaps more.

Thank you for taking the time to get to know a bit about me and my goals for this blog. I still have no idea what I’m doing, but hey I’ll just make it up as I go along and you can laugh with/at me as I fumble! Deal? Alright folks, stay classy, stay safe, and, above all else,

Stay grumpy.